Today’s post is for girls.
The ’green light’ is what I like to call the way a girl let’s a guy know that she may be interested in them. The green light is subtle, it’s not even overly romantic. If we ever want this guy to ask us out, you have to give them the green light, otherwise he’s going to stay behind the wheel, at a red light, thinking he can’t move forward.
So how do you give a guy the green light?
In the digital age of text messaging, Facebook and Instagram, it’s no longer compulsory to wait for a guy to call you on the telephone before you are in contact. Whoever this guy is, you could already be in regular contact with them using any of these social platforms. You could already be giving them attention, liking their photos or commenting on their status updates. You could use this to your advantage, or disadvantage, depending on how savvy you are, and how good you are at holding back.
Safe ways to give them the green light:
Show interest in them as a person.
This may seem obvious but it’s not always easy to do in practice. What are they passionate about? What are their hobbies? Try to support them in what they do. Start up a conversation about their interests; ask them about their latest art project, mountaineering expedition, or guitar lesson – you get the picture.
My top tip: Unless they’ve just had amazing job news, like an interview or promotion, don’t ask them about work. I can hear him snoring already!
If it feels natural you can start getting a little closer. It’s a very friendly thing, to occasionally pat someone on the arm when they make a joke, or playfully punch them if they tease us. Hitting is good! Just be careful not to kick them in the nuts. That will hurt!
My top tip: Be careful with hugs, some guys aren’t very huggy people. Until you know them better, wait for them to make contact first.
The shy smile.
There will be moments with this guy, when you start to open up a bit more and you could find yourself feeling like your heart is opening up. It will feel glorious, you’ll want him to sweep you into his big strong arms and plant one on you. If you sense these moments, try not to swoon! Instead, if it feels absolutely right, give him a shy smile. Just a little one. Or, in a completely different situation, you find yourself making eye contact from across the room. Give him a little shy smile. You’ll probably blush and that’ll be a dead giveaway but LET IT HAPPEN. He wants to know the impact he has on you. If his sheer masculine presence makes you buckle at the knees then he wants to see a glimpse of this. Trust me, it’ll do wonders for his ego.
My top tip: If he already thinks he’s Gods gift to women, this move will be wasted on him.
It’s important that these moments are brief. If you linger for too long it may get uncomfortable. Also – if he isn’t interested then a correctly delivered green light will mean NOTHING to him. Unless he is trained in the art of body language, he will most likely be completely oblivious.
Wrong ways to give them the green light:
Don’t flirt outrageously. This includes smiling a lot, patting his arm every few minutes, winking, or being overly complimentary. Laughing at everything he says, hanging around him all evening. Don’t do it! Ugh. This idea makes me cringe already.
Don’t dress too sexy for church. It’s a 7pm evening service at church and you’re in sky-high heels and a slinky low-cut dress. Really? PUT IT AWAY. You may think you look hot but unfortunately you are actually repelling the men who are trying really hard not to look at your breasts.
Don’t tell everyone that you like him hoping it’ll get back to him. What, really? Are you in high school? Be an adult! Consult close friends only who you know are not going to spread the gossip.
Don’t chase him. I’ve seen girls chase guys and it always ends in tears. They ask them to the movies, text them several times a week, and act overly enthusiastic whenever they see them. The green light is a subtle invitation, it is not as obvious as a club over the head! Stop initiating contact. Sit back and wait for him to come to you.
Don’t tell him that you like him. That would NOT be a green light. By revealing your feeling you are making him decide then and there if he wants to date you or not. The fear! Don’t do it. You’ll only embarrass yourself. If you strongly think you must tell him how you feel, because you can’t possibly go another day without knowing, you must realise that this means he probably doesn’t like you. Either that or he’s not ready or just isn’t that into you. If a guy likes you he’ll ask you out. End of.
Don’t initiate a conversation by being negative. Also don’t talk endlessly about yourself. In fact, try to make your first few sentences questions all about him. Stories about your hectic schedule, crazy mother or other such dramas aren’t really turn-ons. Save the boring stuff for your mother.
To summarise, the green light is a glimpse of your interest in him. It’s a small sign that you like him. Keep it short and brief and most importantly remember that if he’s not asking you out – he’s just not that into you. Next!